Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to leave, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said, "Have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML
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Top comments
jarofarts 0
lol who DOES that?
notsodelighted 0
ahahah, that's HILARIOUS!!
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Comments (164)
ohxberlin 0
LOL thats so ****** up, it's funny
Serial 2
that was uncalled for #40
vanityaffair 0
haha, that's fabulous.
Vehicle 1
That's tacky. But at least he has a sense of humor?
chaosleader0 0
he said have a drink on me never said what kind though thats ******* hilarious
MJ_Alexander 0
Recession hits!
azn_m16 0
Agree with #1, not really FML, but funny-ish.
OperationNicole_fml 0
Bahaha syke! #36: You're a fool, get educated.
Vidmantas 0
he has amazing sarcastic sence of humor that's for sure.
nowherefast_fml 0
hahahaha, i love it. im going to start carrying teabags around so when i go to a bar or whatever i can stick a teabag in their tip jar :)