Today, I was making mashed potatoes in a hurry, I had the pot boiling on high when I had to rush to the bathroom. As I'm walking away, I ask my boyfriend to watch the potatoes. When I returned, they were no longer boiling and he proudly announced he added cold water because they looked a little dry. What? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to make mashed potatoes but then went into another room to wait on them, then forgot about them, ruining my only big pot and a full bag of potatoes. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, my flatmate took his hour plus long shower while we both tried to get ready for work. I had a choice to wet myself or pee in a cooking pot. I chose the pot. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, as I was running late for work, I asked my husband to pack me some hard boiled eggs for lunch. When I went on my lunch break, I went to crack my eggs only to discover they were completely raw. When confronted, my husband said, “Well you didn’t say I had to cook them first!” FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
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Top comments
Tarlachia 33
He's probably also the type that if he were asked to make mashed potatoes, he'd use a meat tenderizer to mash the uncooked potatoes.
Indianboy9321 25
Third times NOT the charm in your case.
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Comments (13)
InsanityShard 23
To all those people saying disabled people can't cook: I'm mentally and physically disabled and I can ******* cook. Meanwhile my brother has nothing wrong with him, he's blown up 3 microwaves, set a microwave on fire, and even once tried to make strawberry flavoured alfredo by adding strawberry milk. He's even tried to softboil eggs in the microwave, even after I told him, just put a tiny hole in for the gas to escape and it shouldn't explode. He thought just putting it in for a couple of seconds at a time would make it not explode. He fails so much at it it's not funny. Some people just suck at it. Also for some stupid reason when I try to hit the reply button it does nothing, so if you can tell me how to get stuff like that working that'd be great, thanks. >_>
peterblackmer91 12
Are you dating a complete moron? How could a pot of boiling water look dry.
IHaveThePower 18
Fmylife needs a 'in love with himbo' category.