Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML
Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML
Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
I'd honestly just throw out the sheets and buy new ones, that's ******* nasty!
lifeislife_fml 0
Ugh, nasty. I can't even stand normal vomit.
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Comments (89)
_THE_MASTER_ 0
are you stupid or something? Funky, is a term used in the same was as odd, gross, etc in conjunction with the word smell. theres your word of the day. now go use it. if you find 100 different uses for it by 6 P.M. you get a pony!!!!
titan90 0
why would you let your dog sleep on your bed...I can't stand animals laying where I sleep at night...
Masta_Blasta 0
YDI for having a dog.
HBoks 7
**** you
rakhil11 7
71, haven't you learned from other comments to not eat while reading FML's yet? OP: That's pleasant, thanks for sharing.
Imranaziz 0
YDI for having a dog
foreverblair 0
I gagged when I read this.
lovesick4628 0
oh, that's just plain GROSS!
CourtneyBoom 0
I'd like to know why people put YDI? how does someone deserve that lol...
Maxaddicted 3
Who says funky anymore? This is disgusting. I would have killed my dog. Not really, but, ya know.
TeenieAmerica 9
Lots of people say funky.
TeenieAmerica 9
Haha and yet people from the UK constantly get on people from the US for not knowing the words that they use. Also, OP's not from the UK or the US.