Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ChasinParkedCars 0
"Uhhh, honey? You sure you want me to read.. Okay then. 'God damn baby you know how to treat me right. I hope we didn't make too much of a mess in your parents bed.'"
BadLuckTuck 0
At least you didn't crash and die reading that text.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
annonymouss_fml 0
its not your fault... you couldn't have predicted that would happen
k_100 0
You could have just left it until you had stopped the car to let your dad out, you didn't have to read it at that moment
chanman 0
There shouldn't be a comma in between "smoking" and "hot" unless you meant she was either a) on fire at the time or b) had a cigarette dangling out of her mouth.
kayleighcontrol 7
Couldn't you have just waited? The text would still be there when your dad buggered off. **** your life cause you're an idiot. And **** your dad for being so nosy and oppressive.
duggokenshin 0
you first of all shouldn't be txting and driving, its stupid and distracting. second of all you couldn't just wait till you get home to finish txting? FAIL
alxndr5120 7
2 things. 1) you should not text and drive. 2) NEVER SEND DIRTY TEXTS.... EVER (or do but delete after wards)
Hurt16 0
lmfaoooooooo... if I was a male n had a daughter I don't think I would ever look at u the same way... I wonder how the rest of the night went lol... must have been one silent drive home
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
great, that's just great.... ur poor father... well at least u had great sex.
lifesabch 0
Where's the lock on your phone?
textwork 4
haha I how much longer was the car ride?