Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML
Today, I practiced my wedding vows in front of the mirror we have in the hallway. When I was done, I heard clapping from my living room. Turns out my fiancé’s parents had come over early for dinner and had heard everything. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML
Today, while hugging my sister's husband, I accidentally let out a "Mmm…" sound in front my whole family. FML
Today, I was hushed in a theatre during a play. I would normally appreciate a discreet silencing in the audience, but I was saying my lines. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
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Top comments
Hustlinpimp 0
dude smack her with your dick
Insert_Wit_Here 0
Some people are just loud clappers, you can't always help it. Bitch move on your wife's part. I'm also just gonna throw this out there, if this were a dude who said this to his wife, everyone would be on here calling for his head and saying she deserves better. In this case though, there will probably be more people saying he should listen and clap quieter.
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Comments (89)
HAHAHSUCKS4YOU 0
Lmao jandersoniii's just mad cuz she's never been """raped""" before ****** ugly piece shit
DJLarry 0
I agree, your wife is f***ed
liketoknow 0
Haha # 59 ... Wait till you go to mexico prison, Haha, they will show you "rape" in a whole new meaning...on the other hand "shit" will be easier! Haha
sfsdfsf 0
I think #59 is both desperate for attention and a moron.
bleepyourlife 0
i actually think this is really sad :(
CheezerX 0
dont compliment her anymore....next time she ask how deos this look u say it looks like shit wen u were it...srry shes a bitch...or dont clap next time
effmyyliifee 0
not an FML. get over it. NEXT
gargon 0
man **** that bitch...divorce her... now!
leotarde 0
Wow
warhorse57 0
Women are all the same aren't they?