Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML
Today, I practiced my wedding vows in front of the mirror we have in the hallway. When I was done, I heard clapping from my living room. Turns out my fiancé’s parents had come over early for dinner and had heard everything. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML
Today, while hugging my sister's husband, I accidentally let out a "Mmm…" sound in front my whole family. FML
Today, I was hushed in a theatre during a play. I would normally appreciate a discreet silencing in the audience, but I was saying my lines. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
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Top comments
Hustlinpimp 0
dude smack her with your dick
Insert_Wit_Here 0
Some people are just loud clappers, you can't always help it. Bitch move on your wife's part. I'm also just gonna throw this out there, if this were a dude who said this to his wife, everyone would be on here calling for his head and saying she deserves better. In this case though, there will probably be more people saying he should listen and clap quieter.
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Comments (89)
24788 7
lol, you must of been wasted.
BooJeanIsIt 0
Thats when I would tell her to STFU bitch
fieryice 0
well then STOP ******* CLAPPING SO LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!
mehwhateverr 0
That was sweet of you. What is with all these rude wives lately? :/
lifeasweknewit 0
She was just trying to help...
dlmurphy 0
So #59, I'd like to know how you came to that conclusion. I'm not trying to argue, because I know that would be pointless (trying to change your mind at this point would be like trying to stop the world from spinning with my bare hands). I just want to know where this sense of hatred came from.
nillawafer 0
Jandersoniii...Thanks for your thoughtful and enlightening comments. I feel so much smarter and aware of the potential dangers I face from these monstrous beings we call "men" aka rapists. ...Seriously though, jandersoniii--what's wrong with you? You posted a very similar and totally irrevelevant message on another FML as well. Stop using fmylife.com to fulfill your own agenda. And if you're trolling, then try to actually be funny.
lookitschloe 0
ugh i HATE LOUD CLAPPERS!! you all think you're showing your "appreciation" for the person on stage but it's really just annoying everyone else! Clap -along- with the rest of the audience. No need to stand out while you're sitting down with everyone else. If you want to show greater thanks for entertainment or inspiration, do it privately.
myexsucks 0
I think #59 (jandersoniii) has some SERIOUS issues....not just on this FML post, but on others as well. It's not even worth my time to try to argue about it....people like that are pretty close-minded. WOW. OP: She sounds like a bitch if she put you down after you complimented her.
CyclonePsycho 1
Please, #59, let that be some damn good sarcasm. Because I worry about your mental health. OP - Ignore her, she probably was just joking. You're very sweet for complimenting her.