Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML
Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
porcupineattack1 5
Well that's probably what anyone who ate the fruitcake would have done, fruitcake SUCKS.
imp4ct 15
Smart dog!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (54)
Kingbreezy04 10
Fruitcake looks like throw up anyway, nobody will know the difference.
leadawg75 12
Tastes like it too.
Giluh 19
Go dog! Way to take one for the team!
viper8608 9
that is ok. nobody likes fruitcake. they are just what everyone makes during Christmas and gives to people to then have them thrown in the garbage. why do these things even exist still?
GuinnessGirrrl 8
Just say NO to Fruitcake
Spectre529 12
That dog has some epic trolling methods... That sucks when your dog is planning against you. FYL OP
greenie213 23
I've heard the stories of a dog's loyalty, but to eat an entire fruitcake to save his owner from it... It brings tears to my eyes.
need2sleep 15
Poor doggie! Might need to take him to the vet! Most recipes have a cup or more of Rum not to mention the raisins are toxic as well!! Never leave out food! My dog can jump over most baby gates.
leadawg75 12
That's probably why it threw it up, but yes agree, a trip to the vet may be a good idea.
Floofcadet 2
You're lucky you didn't come home to a dead dog. Canines are deathly allergic to raisins. They can cause severe renal failure. If you haven't already, I'd recommend you take your dog to the vet.
twiztedone 19
See even dogs don't like fruit cake and they lick their own crotch and butt holes!!
amiewithaj 13
Not even dogs like fruitcake