Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML
Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML
Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, I was trying to be environmentally friendly by riding my BMX to work. My 'rad skills' are out of whack because I hit a pothole, fell off, and landed in a pile of trash bags that were dumped by the side of the road. The irony wasn’t lost on me. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
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Top comments
poolshark 0
You might want to look into a tetanus shot and some antibiotics... feces and open wounds do not mix.
padlarf 14
Holy shit man!
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Comments (257)
markssh 0
#9 - and maybe even a trip to the doctor for a round of antibiotics. Lots of bacteria in human waste.
jtaylor991 6
What #9 said
poolshark 0
Actually, #13, I mentioned that...
dmmd8686 0
Yeah, seriously, make sure your cuts aren't infected. That sucks!
ChoFrog09 0
This is why I do not ride my bike
Juliiaaa 0
LOL sry bout that good FML though
RhymePrime 7
That stinks. At least you got your shit together. Holy shit, I personally wouldn't take that shit. SHIT. You must be sick of that shit. I wonder if that's bullshit. Your bike must be a piece of shit now. Lol.
EvilCupcake8361 9
lmao that's a lot of SHIT right there ^ :)
Dead_and_Gone 0
dont go biking ever again
und34d 0
oooo that's horrible
ydigurl 0
I suck... no one gives a crap about me, I live in the basement with my dog, a small yorkshire terrier named 'Mrs Sniffles', and my mum makes me wear glittered tank tops and parades me down the street while singing 'it's raining men' by the weather girls.