Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
Today, I got chased by a duck. Not just any duck, the same duck that has chased me every morning for a week. I’m starting to think it has a personal vendetta against me. FML
Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
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Top comments
Passion4Makeup 4
Easy. Kill the damn thing.
zah_ali 3
Just wait till he croaks it. Then you're golden! :D
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Comments (180)
rAnDomDiNoSaWr 0
Ok go on a plane and go to china. Leave the frog there. Fly back. I bet that frog won't find you for a while!!!! :D (this wasn't helpful was it?)
blair_x 12
1) Take the frog. 2) Get in your car. 3) Drive to Las Vegas 4) Dump the frog in the desert there. 5) Go back home. Duh. Done. You don't even have to go as far as Vegas: just trap the frog in a container and drive off with it, and dump it somewhere else.
YankeesSuck479 0
Put it in the road. He'll stop coming back eventually.
sevenfold97 0
Kill it.
Struggs 2
Then close your windows.
heyred 11
Gig 'em!
Valkyrie19 0
Would you like to borrow a hammer?
TheyCallmeStacey 9
He is waiting for a kiss so he can turn into a prince
Tyger44 1
U know in australia they have cane toad golfing.look it up.
kewlaidman10 15
2 words Bear Trap