Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML
Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my successful, attractive daughter gave me the "Daddy I can fix him" speech about her boyfriend. He brings in no money, exclusively wears old ratty T-shirts and sweats, and always stinks of BO and cheap beer. I have failed. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back into the house, screaming, "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML
Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
missyj0 12
Am I the only one that finds it odd to talk to your dad about your boyfriends penis? I mean it's great you have such a tight knit family, but I don't think I'd want my dad knowing about my boyfriend's package.
FatMan23 10
Awkward.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
HomeAl0ne 20
Try her to try nicking out to get some take away. That arouses some guys to the point where they have to start masturbating.
CADMAN82 1
Umm say that again, in English this time.
tiarrae 10
I believe he's referring to another FML.
emmanizzer 6
Thos really isn't that bad. If you guys are close enough to talk about her boyfriend's ED, then I think you're close enough to even remotely mention yours.
castrosabeast 7
Nothing to be ashamed of man. You're just getting old.
perdix 31
Your wife is right. At this point, what's more important for your daughter to think: A) You have credibility on the topic of limp-dickedness, or B) Your **** can get reliably rock hard at the drop of a hat?
rawrkittyrawr 6
Why not both?
perdix 31
They can't be both because B) has the word "reliably" in it. If Dad has the experience Mom brags about, his rock hard **** was having problems with reliability.
ChrisTheCalm 9
That's sad dude, maybe you and her lasted boyfriend could hook up
yamatelle 19
Only one solution for your boyfriend, OP, Viagra: the quicker dicker upper.
deviousstang 0
I would have laughed if it was my kid then tell her to find another guy. it is weird to talk to ur dad about though, damn white people
emmaa3451 11
That's mildly disturbing...
sicnesses 6
Poor daughter!!!!
jayyw5 3
Why is your daughter talking about this to you...