Man caver
Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML
Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, my husband called me selfish and ungrateful then canceled the cruise he’d booked as a surprise. I only asked if we could get a sitter for the kids. I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools and co-sleeps. We never get a single minute alone, so excuse me for wanting some adult time. FML
Today, I asked my parents to babysit my kids for an hour so that I could visit the doctor for my asthma, which has worsened over the past two days. Apparently I'm a bad mother, and it's OK if I stop breathing, but shouldn't leave my kids to go out alone. My husband was at the gym the entire evening. FML
Today, I woke up to a note from my wife, saying that since I spent Father's Day golfing, she booked herself a spa day, so I could take care of our 4 kids and the house like she does every day. She ignored every single one of my calls and didn't even tell me what spa she went to. What mother does that to her family? FML
Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML
Today, I'm sick of my wife’s attitude. Apparently, when she has the kids by herself it’s "parenting", but when I have the kids it’s “babysitting” or “helping out” or my new favourite “the least you can do, you lazy asshole.” When added up, I parent the kids by myself more hours than she does. FML
Today, my husband went on a tirade, accusing me of bullying and being too hard on our kids. Apparently, I’m taking this homeschool thing too serious, and I need to cut them a break. All I did was make them write their letters and numbers on paper instead of just using their tablets. Yeah, real mean. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wiccaantje 21
EVERY DAY? AN HOUR? WITH 4 KIDS? Dude...I doubt you do much parenting if you don't see how unreasonable that is. Like, I 100% understand the necessity of needing time to yourself, but that's why I'm not having 4 kids. You can only do the 1hour thing if the other parent is handling all 4 kids by themselves and... that's just so ******* hard. And you want that EVERY DAY??? Dude. Lead by example, take the kids by yourself for an hour every day for a week. You will quickly learn how unreasonable your ask is.
Anderling 33
So how much private time does *she* get with your four kids? She sounds like she’s burnt out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
BettyBoop 11
You can have your hour....after your kids go to bed. Just like she does. And why are you mad at her? Your dumbass is the one that actually said that to her.
vg 4
I see most people here find your request unreasonable, which just tells me they don't understand why you need it. I have the same need and this is how we do it: I get up really early so I can start working eeally early (6ish am) which then again let's me get off early (2pm) and then I have about an hour between my work and before they come home. I work from home and have flexible hours, so that's how this is an option for me. I didn't have that in my ladt job, then I solved this by putting a TV, a chair and a personal pc in my spare bedroom and I sat there by myself an hour after they had gone to bed. I also have 1 day a week where I can sleep in, which is not really important for me, but it lets me get some hours by myself at the night. My wife ofcourse gets the same thing.
Nazmazh 18
Do you extend the same offer to your wife in reciprocation? That she also would get one hour of private time to herself each day?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Does your wife get an hour - or any time - every day to herself? I highly doubt it. The women have the hardest part with pregnancy/childbirth. Men have it easy. So if anyone deserves some alone time, it's the mother.