Today, someone said not to speak to them like I'm "better than them." I asked how they would like me to speak; I couldn't figure out the problem. The response I got was, "Speak to me like you speak to your lord." Am I the idiot? I wasn't even the one who initiated the conversation to begin with, nor did I intend for beef. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, a customer berated me and told me to stop whining because I have to work on the weekend. What did I do to deserve this? I said, "Hi, how are you doing today?" FML
Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, my self-esteem has gotten so low that when I was out walking my boss's dog and someone called out, "Beautiful!" I assumed they were talking about the dog. They had to clarify they were speaking about me. FML
Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML
Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Narcissists are such fun when they're this bad at it. I'd have laughed so hard at them you'd have to pick me up off the floor and put me in a quiet room for a while to calm down.
jlc82 14
speak to you like you're my lord? bahahaha! get bent! I hope you laughed or spit in their face or even did both before walking away still laughing and that middle finger flying high.
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Comments (2)
FluffythePink 23
Narcissists are such fun when they're this bad at it. I'd have laughed so hard at them you'd have to pick me up off the floor and put me in a quiet room for a while to calm down.
jlc82 14
speak to you like you're my lord? bahahaha! get bent! I hope you laughed or spit in their face or even did both before walking away still laughing and that middle finger flying high.