Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML
Today, due to an emergency, I have worked for 21 hours non stop. When I got home at 6 a.m. I fell into bed and stuck to the sheets. Only then, just as he was going to work, did my husband yell up the stairs that the sheets needed washing because he spilled his cough medicine all over the bed when he woke up. FML
Today, I was supposed to wash my wife's underwear, then go to work and interview a new educator at 10.30am. I ended up smoking weed, getting stoned, and sitting in my car at 11.00am at a McDonald's. I'm now sitting at my desk and still high as fuck. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, I came home to pizza boxes piled high, dirty laundry everywhere, and a sink full of roaches, but all I did was smoke a bowl and turn the Switch on. My boyfriend and I have let our lives fall apart ever since our state legalized weed. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML
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Top comments
Kuibe 18
I guess you can use the same excuse when he's sick now and if he objects bring up this.
gosh_mate 30
Go on strike! You shouldn't even be around food/dishes if you're still contagious.
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Comments (62)
worldclassrager 41
Don't you have a dishwasher? Unless these are things that can't be used for that
cheesetothepower 7
Dude, the dishwasher won't put the dishes in and run themselves. It's 2 people, it should have taken him all of 10 minutes (being generous) to put them in there, 20 if he's washing them by hand.
enginsteve 17
And that is why you need a robot dishwasher! Kickstarter here I come!
PuppiesKisses 19
Hope you ripped him a new one. I was taking care of all the cooking and cleaning for a 6 month period for several reasons and it was to stop once I got a new job. I got the new job and nothing changed. I stopped cooking dinner, doing the dishes, laundry pretty much everything after a month of not change. Happy to say he's made dinner every night for a week and started helping. When I finally cooked dinner again yesterday he was elated.
trucker2 33
The only motivation a smoker has is to create a smoking device !!!! Some damn good engineering too !
Richard6036 13
What did you marry a teenager
lvg_fml 10
Shame you even had to ask. Even if you weren't sick he should help out but the fact that you were and he couldn't even help is really bad
Setareh23 34
I think it depends. Maybe they have turn based or specifically assigned chores. Like, my boyfriend does all the cooking and surfaces, and I do the dishes, bathroom, and bedroom. We occasionally ask if the other needs help, but if neither of us are sick/busy we don't regularly offer to do the other's share and I see nothing wrong with that. However in this specific case, she was sick, so I think he should have offered or at least done it when she asked.
Sjf0212 10
Don't worry, OP, that's just "research"...
AaLlIiYyAaHh 22
At least he does'nt have an affair but FYL
HunterI64 5
You married the dude...whatd u expect
CoupeDeAce 6
Finished the project, still wound up, so he decompressed away from OP to not disturb OP.
LordVaper 14
He must have been done with the project then.