Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML
Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML
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Top comments
chux4w 0
That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.
Imawhalerider 0
just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?
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Comments (66)
Bmac95 0
I have been there and done that. I bet she won't ever forget anything in your car again.
Bmac95 0
I have been there and done that. I bet she won't ever forget anything in your car again.
ams116 0
Hand it out the window? Im sure there was a way to avoid any problems here.
Capnstinkfoot 0
jesus christ wtf
FuzzyWalnuts 0
Roll down the windows on your side dumbass
buddy51 23
tell her "I fart in your general direction!"
tranman978 0
Just ACCIDENTLEY light a match and all the fumes will combust and your car will be able to travel time like back to the future
sikanderimran 0
Hahahahahahahaha roflmao
diet_otaku 0
if she's a girl worth dating, and she genuinely likes you, she won't mind. everybody farts, and you can't help when you have to let one rip. if she IS all offended and "omg ew gross!" and stops seeing you just because of that, then she's a retard and you're better off without her anyway.
1234five 0
Embarrassing