Let it all out

Barf

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

Too much of a good thing

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

Hardly surprising

Today, after my girlfriend made a huge dinner, we got frisky. About 15 minutes in, I threw up the dinner she made, all over her. She hasn’t talked to me since. FML

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

Some people are into that sort of thing

Today, I was having rough sex when I breathed too heavily with a dry throat, and puked on the bed. FML

Sick sex, dude

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML