Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
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Top comments
amaranthphantom 0
I love the way you wrote that OP!! (first?)
Avenging_Angel 0
Oh God I remember when I had really bad diarrhea at Books A Million... Luckily it didn't reach past my underwear when I finally got to the bathroom. Note to people in charge of bathrooms: it is NOT cool when you have to ask for keys to bathrooms. When I gotta go, I GOTTA GO.
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Comments (85)
ryanr21 0
dude too much info jeez
sueQ_fml 0
dude, i am SOOOOO sorry!!!! i would DIE if that ever happened to me. i suggets moving to another continent.
MJ_Alexander 0
This is one of the few FML's worth the status of FML.
michaelcarell 0
This isn't funny. That straight up sucks.
driedpeaches 0
ok, here's my story, i was horribly sick but was one of the faster runners in my "house" at boarding school. the various houses competed against each other in carnivals a few times a year and i was set to run a relay. Not wanting to miss it I said I was well enough to run, go through about 300 of the 400 meters and my ass exploded, not slowing, i finished my leg. It was the winter carnival so i was wearing a decent amount of clothes and no one knew. There's nothing like walking down a hill a 1/4 mile with rapidly cooling feces running down your legs...
Sindy_fml 4
"shit" happens :D
freshx_fml 6
i would have just shat in the car.
LTMcleod 0
wow, that'd be something that you don't see everyday
paper_tigers 0
That would be quite awesome, also has anyone read Tuckermax? if so doesnt this OP remind you of the hotel lobby? still funny.
needsagf14 12
what'd you eat?!