Student Me vs Inner Me By FML Approved - 08/09/2017 03:30 - France - Paris The darkness calls... I agree, your life sucks 395 You deserved it 107 Share Tweet Share
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 213 You deserved it 9 284
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 534 You deserved it 3 405
Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 018 You deserved it 6 736
Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 093 You deserved it 2 248
Today, my wife and I got freaky in the living room. Apparently we didn’t close the curtain all the way because three of our neighbours called the police. There was barely a 4 inch gap in the curtain. They must've had their noses right up to the window, or using binoculars. FML I agree, your life sucks 521 You deserved it 142
Today, as the weather is getting cold, I got my cozy fall sweater out of the closet. I soon realized I had left a candy bar in the pocket sometime last year, and it had melted all over the inside. FML I agree, your life sucks 335 You deserved it 548