Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Lawndale, United States
Keeping score
Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently, my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML
Top comments
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
But you don't even swallow toothpaste, so why would it be a problem even if it did have calories?
Bullpine 11
Wow. That's excessive. If you can't change her mind, tell her to use baking soda. Although, you really should talk to her because being that obsessive seems unhealthy.
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Comments (80)
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
But you don't even swallow toothpaste, so why would it be a problem even if it did have calories?
DespairFaction 11
I've known some people that actually swallow, toothpaste.
Meme1988 18
Thats great advice to tell the op! If he says this to her, she might actually brush her teeth
walmartpaysme 15
13, that's just stupid. There is a warning label that clearly says you should not swallow toothpaste.
Meettitan 14
You don't have to swallow it. Stamps have one half of a calorie just in the glue.
bones_17 5
Come on now it's a poor mans astronaut food
namyo 13
Swallowing tooth paste can give you brittle bones if it has fluoride ions in it
CheeseTron 15
She's obviously not the sharpest knife in the bunch. Maybe she thinks she can absorb the calories.
Futacy 30
24- but you lick stamps, then swallow afterwards. With toothpaste you just brush and rinse.
X_Codes 11
@43 - I think it's more about what that flouride can do to your digestive tract. Hydroflouric Acid is nasty stuff, but unless you brush your teeth a lot then there's probably not enough flouride to do any kind of significant damage to your bones, particularly if you eat a healthy diet.
itsharkley 8
I'll make she loses all the calories within one night.
LollipopDragon 4
#64 if you're going to even say something like that, at least say it right.
_Oblivion_ 12
She's a swallower huh?
Meettitan 14
54- Point being though: you can consume calories from unexpected sources. On a side note, who's to say toothpaste doesn't get behind your tongue so when you rinse and spit, it's still there for you to swallow? /enrant
xxxInsanexxx 9
Gum has calories even if you don't swallow it.
ygdrassil 17
Toothpastes are sugar-free anyway because the whole point is getting all those sugars off your teeth.
lexilikesyourhai 2
#13 that just made me gag, why would anyone swallow toothpaste...
Futacy 30
97- because they're hood like dat.
waratmars 10
My friend eats toothpaste in class.
KiddNYC1O 22
Exactly. She's a dumb ****.
DespairFaction 11
97- my weird ex roommate. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
larouche362 10
#120 thats a little harsh
Bullpine 11
Wow. That's excessive. If you can't change her mind, tell her to use baking soda. Although, you really should talk to her because being that obsessive seems unhealthy.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Yeah, OP. You should keep an eye on your daughter... She sounds like she's close to getting an eating disorder :/
micaelareppucci 6
Definitely watch that.. When I was really sick with my eating disorder, I was afraid to brush my teeth before I weighed myself because I thought I would gain a pound. I really hope that's not the case here though!
letmehavemytea 21
What they all said ^ I use my toothpaste sparingly because of that Which is bad considering my stomach acid is ruining my teeth a bit
botanistjessica 24
74: that's disgusting. If you know what you're doing to yourself, why do it?
onlychildFTW 34
You can't really help disorders.
Meenah_fml 4
(ugh wrong reply nvm)
letmehavemytea 21
76- OMG you're totally right! Now that I know what my mental health disorder is doing to my body I can totally make it just disappear! I'll try to remember to just get over my insecurities, paranoia and inability to hold down "normal" sized amounts of food. Sorry did that sound a bit bitchy? I'm just tired of ignorant people. And now. I didn't start out purging.
Bekll 31
I've heard of this before. Crazy how gullible some people can be. After all, you don't even swallow the toothpaste.
Srs_business 7
Tell her that brushing your teeth vigorously burns as many calories as running. That should fix the problem.
domking1315 20
I was gonna say "who would fall for that" but then i thought about who we're talking about here
devydev92 5
Well then convince her that if she doesn't brush properly it'll lead to gum disease or cavities.
flutter4 7
And bad breath
whatadaydanny 12
I wish I had thought of telling my sister that.. she'd have probably believed me.... HEY! It'd have been funny, okay?
Athleticism 11
Toothpaste- #1 cause of child obesity.
emag_eht 18
What? Diarrhea makes you lose weight and get dehydrated. I'm sorry if I don't understand your comment properly, but I don't.
bach2121 13
Kids these days...
flutter4 7
Tell me about it
gc327072 31
Freaking noobs and their lame comments...
perdix 31
Didn't you teach her to spit it out instead of swallowing? I guess you haven't had the "sex talk" yet.
bones_17 5
Protein and whiter smile= swallow!!
KiiwiiRox 6
Next thing you know she'll stop putting deodorant cause it causes diseases -_-
Meettitan 14
The Aluminum Zirconium Trichlorohydrex in deodorants is thought to be carcinogenic.
gracehi 33
I've heard that the aluminum in deodorant causes alzheimers. I use it anyway.
Meettitan 14
Aluminum vapors are thought to cause Alzheimer's, but that usually only when smoking out of an aluminum foil pipe or something.
PYLrulz 17
Rather forget people thinking of me as nice smelling, than remember people knowing me for my BO
carnes03 2
I love how people always use this to try and give advice haha