david99021
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Ankara, Turkey
Jesus said go to sleep
Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She told me I just needed to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML
Top comments
nooblper 21
Read the bible until you fall asleep from boredom.
netflixislove 32
Apparently she thinks you need Jesus... Although I don't think he will make you fall asleep
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Comments (82)
Kramer1998 20
Maybe she knows jesus is keeping you awake on purpose, also to be fair you do come from a religious nation, so this isn't very shocking
annabelle1710 11
Isn't the bible boring enough for you to fall asleep reading it?
lolatyouall 0
try the vitamin melatonin. it's over the counter. it will put you to sleep in about an hour. so take it an hour before you want to sleep.
Sockmonkey12 10
Keep her up at night by pretending to do super religious stuff because you love Jesus so much and she might wind up taking it back.
clair_brodie 35
She is right though.. ... ...reading it will put you right to sleep.
alex_jaguara 33
Try the Quran, maybe it will help. Well since you are in Turkey, might aswell learn part of the culture.
Mommymommy 0
It can be a pretty boring book, y'know, until Revelations comes in with its pimp hand strong
pipipiyo 12
Wow. Sounds like my mom too.
HellboundAlleee 4
Find the worst stories in the bible that you can, and then confront her with a barrage of questions about them. That should get her off the "reading the Bible" thing. Consider "Gibeah's Crime" around Judges 19:29. "And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel." Ask her why. Consider Deuteronomy 22: 28-29 28"If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, 29then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days. Ask her why. I've got a million of them.
awesomeamandas 37
I used to take bendryl or however you spell it whenever I was having sleep problems. it's pretty much an allergy pill that causes drowsiness. so if all else fails you could try that.