david99021
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Ankara, Turkey
Jesus said go to sleep
Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She told me I just needed to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML
Top comments
nooblper 21
Read the bible until you fall asleep from boredom.
netflixislove 32
Apparently she thinks you need Jesus... Although I don't think he will make you fall asleep
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Comments (82)
slimsh4dyy 8
Buy melatonin, it's a sleep pill and it's not sold over the counter so anybody can buy it. It will be in pretty much all grocery stores.
Sora_McKain 36
If it is not sold over the counter than you would need at prescription for it.
sprints54 19
It can be frustrating being unable to sleep, I've gone something like 8 days without being able to sleep that freaking sucked donkey balls
jcfrisco 13
one word: ASMR
someguyhere 12
Do as your mother told you, sit on the edge of her bed and read the bible through the night and wake her every time she falls asleep till she gets you some REAL help.
dawgsrb33 4
well reading before bed actually calms your brain down and makes it easier for you to fall asleep.....
justash12 10
Can't you go to the doctor on your own?
godzillawood10 5
the bible is just a bunch of lies there are some churches that use a bible that dosent even have Jesus in them and they have been revised to much for them to be worth anything. plus they don't support the obvious theory of evolution.
Drosophila82 18
Yeah, read the chapters on slavery, I find these particularly comforting.
GummiieBear 12
That's black religious parents for EVERYTHING. I hate that ish
protoskore 27
OP, read out loud to your mom from Ezekiel 23 and I guarantee she'll forbid you from ever reading the bible again.