Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my 9 month-old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
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Top comments
ScratchCatPower 32
"Hush little fridgey don't you cry, food loves you and so do I."
Kidd_Ant 18
Well at least we know you are one of the most caring parents in the world.
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Comments (40)
ber4fun 23
You're going to be a great mother.
mytime654321 9
Hang in there!
Sharall 10
This too shall pass. New mommy syndrome is weird. Mine is 10 months now and thankfully the sleepless nights and crying from reflux are over.
Stuffaluffagus 25
So glad I'm never having babies
Felinefine 14
Omg I do this all the time! Mines four months lol, I do it to the kettle and the cats, myself, even when there is no body else in the room! Hang on in there! We're all a bunch of crazy, really ☺️
TheSignOfLibra 11
Wow. Makes me feel upset I was such a pain in the ass as a baby. I bet it was normal for my mom to talk to the microwave and washing machine while I was a baby. Mom, if you're reading this and did talk to the microwave, don't worry, I talk to my cat. And my plants. And the fish.
sailorarctic 22
mine is 6 months old now. the 4th trimester is the hardest. it gets easier I promise
Catdragon 40
I'm so used to my mom calling for me that when my kitten started mewing, I told her "give me a second"
HotMamaBBM 11
Been there motherhood. The best thing I used was this night light that beamed on the ceiling. Stopped the crying
cek727 16
When mine was that little something similar happened. My husband rolled over in his sleep one night and while still asleep, I tried to cradle and rock him back to sleep. Needless to say, we were both very confused. lol