Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and got robbed at knifepoint. The robber made away with my phone, cash, and debit cards… and the French Bulldog I’m still making monthly payments for. FML
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
joea21 21
Everyone knows the mailman is the dogs arch-nemesis
skellingtonfart 18
You can't rely on your dog to protect you, when it comes down to it, they're probably just as scared and confused as you are in that situation, no matter how big and scary they look!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
hookumsnivy 6
175 pounds? That's ENORMOUS for a rottweiler. Male rottweilers (the bigger sex), typically range from 95 - 130 lbs. So yours is either abnormally large (~35% larger that the top of the range), extremely overweight, or you're exaggerating.
Wonder_Woman257 11
Some of the German Rotties are huge. I have always had females though.
antallent 5
That's what I was thinking. I have a male and female and neither of them weigh that much. They're both German Rottweilers also. I hope the op was exaggerating
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Wow your dog is dumb
rikkidi 20
Doesn't sound like you've trained your dog properly
Tpracingkg 15
Your dog doesn't like you
XxAtreyuSinsxX 14
If someone acts like they're going to hit me, one of my dogs just constantly barks and growls and my other one silently nips and bites them. The one that actually tries to protect me is extremely bonded to me. He used to be VERY skittish.
jude_iscariot 7
Maybe your dog isn't helping you because it's too fat. Male rotties should be 110-130. At 175, your dog is a fatty fat fat.
worldclassrager 41
Looks like next time anyone try's your dog will be on your side...hope the guy gets nabbed an you get your stuff back...
LifeStinks227 10
Damned dogs. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs, but I know my minnie doxie would sell me out for a juicy pork chop in a new York minute. I have no delusions. FML
SoultheWolf 19
Just cause your dog is big or a rotti doesn't mean that it's going to be protective...
sanecatlady 13
Too many people see puppies and think only about how cute they are when they get one and don't think about what they might not be so adorable when they grow up. Or that they have to be trained to protect you.
Wonder_Woman257 11
I have had multiple rotties and they are crazy adorable, and they are the sweetest most protective things! And just as long as you are able to care and nurture them size shouldn't matter.