Today, I have laryngitis and can’t speak at all. I went to make myself some breakfast and my mom kept asking me questions, to which I replied with nods and head shakes. She said, in a condescending voice, that I need to use my “big girl words” and will keep using her “baby voice” until I do so. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, I woke up with laryngitis. I just got hired as a waitress. Tomorrow is opening day, the restaurant plays loud music and I can't speak any louder than a whisper. FML
Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML
Today, my mother screamed at me for the millionth time for “giving her a dirty look” as if I could see my own face. I’m just tired. I just wish people would pay attention to my words and not my face. FML
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Top comments
thefmlman2011 37
Why don't you write "I can't speak" on some paper?
raven_of_azarath 35
But if OP lives with mom, then she should know about the laryngitis by now.
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Comments (21)
thefmlman2011 37
Why don't you write "I can't speak" on some paper?
sunnyray812 42
If it's contagious, give some to her and maybe she'll understand. I'm just kidding; don't do that. Terrible idea.
Virids 13
Laryngitis isn't very contagious. The most contagious period is when the affected person has a fever. Would be wierd if they both got laryngitis, all you'd be able to do is write and nod to eachother.
sunnyray812 42
A new fact I learned today. Thanks! It would be weird if the mother caught it, too. She wouldn't have much of a "big girl" voice either. 😂
BurnInDemonFire 39
I bet that's left you feeling sore.
sparx1_1 12
A normal person would have gargled through a couple of words, written a note or done something to communicate there was an issue, rather than waiting for mom to get offended at your rude behaviour.
raven_of_azarath 35
But if OP lives with mom, then she should know about the laryngitis by now.
sparx1_1 12
When you still lived at home did your mom feel your forehead and check to see if you were well every day? Or, did you act like an adult and tell her you weren't feeling well. Parents aren't psychic. Unless OP is a toddler, there is no reason to assume mom would automatically figure it out or be ok with the silent treatment with no explanation.
chosha_fml 27
It isn’t rude to communicate non-verbally when you can’t speak. OP’s mother is a bitch.
weaboo 12
Chosha_FML yeah but if the mom doesn’t know then she thinks the OP is rude
Lua96 6
Maybe my brain works in weird ways, but if someone who normally talks with me suddenly only replied with gestures like nodding and head-shaking, my first guess would be "Oh, seems like they can't talk today" instead of "Oh, they suddenly decided to be rude and childish for no reason!"
RichardPencil 32
Did you have an eggy-weggy or some Frooty Loopies or some other nom-nom-noms? Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl?
raven_of_azarath 35
I totally read that as “edgy wedgie” lol
Phillycheeze 20
Time to put mom in a nursing home....One of those horrible ones..Not the nice clean one
interesting33 37
If she does this sort of thing regularly, it is bullying and a form of emotional abuse if she belittles you like that a lot
MitiMiki 16
So... you live.. with your mother... the woman who gave you life and nurtured you... and she is unaware that you are ill? How does that even happen?
WhatHappenedToIt 22
did you not see the post from the dad who complained about taking his kid to the dr for a weeping bleeding rash on his penis.. that's how it happens.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
write her a note and intensly point at it
StagGT 13
your mom's a ****