Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML
Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML
Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and I asked if I could try on one of her dresses. It was a little snug, but I got it on. When it came time to take it off though, it wouldn't budge. My friend and her mom had to cut it off me. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML
Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
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Top comments
Aurik 0
Congratulations! Good job wasting taxpayers money! Put down the cheesecake and smarten up.
lionandthelamb61 9
911? they have better things to do than un- wedge fat asses from toddler swings. idiot
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Comments (128)
Emmmmm55 0
wow why would u do tht
kaileebug 0
why would you like Justin Bieber?? Everyone's a little crazy in the head.
astro_plastic 0
Queen reference FTW
ilovechocochipz 0
hahaha lol thats funny
Solisa149448 0
The fireman was obviously joking. Most people (especially proffesionals working) aren't going to call you fat. You have to have skinny legs and not be fat to sit in a toddler swing. And to get out you have to be pulled up. Even if OP is skinny they'd most likely get stuck unless they could pull themselves out. But YDI OP for getting in the first place.
mylifeisover1305 0
4. 100% right
Emilyroxx 3
if youre fat, youre fat.
lezzyluver 0
haha that is very true listen to the fireman
Seventytimeseven 0
Why did you call 911? The real issue here is either you are too weak and lazy to pull yourself out or you had an extremely difficult time getting in and were far too stupid to figure out the very foreseeable consequence of getting stuck in the small space you do not fit in. It's really not that hard to get in and out of a baby swing even if you are stuck all you need is your friends arm n a little bit of leg power so this fml is incredibly fail
Apotheosis5267 0
Funny story, but the firemans comment was hilarious and perfectly placed. Fatty ;D LMAO YDI xD
stuffedturtleee 0
YDI for being fat