Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ambiguous404 6
Wow you got creamed
anythingmustbe 18
No whey? I guess you must be feeling kinda bleu after he fired you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
perdix 31
How do you even get a job at a bagel place without declaring your fervent pro-cream-cheese sentiments on your application?
SkyCloudie 7
FYL, I'm wondering how long you waited to get that simple job :/ They say jobs are hard-to-get these days
alligator729 15
******* love your name.
tehdarkness 21
Blasphemy! Cream cheese is the BIZZOMB!
jessBeAqueen 13
indifferent towards cream cheese ??? let me guess. you also hate bacon ?
perdix 31
What? You don't love the schmeer?! You gotta love the schmeer! Now, you're going to tell me that it's OK to put margarine on your bagel -- I think I'm going to be sick.
griffy14 9
I'm tired of seeing this pro cream cheese agenda. Keep it to yourselves!
jessBeAqueen 13
we're just spreading our love it
perdix 31
#27, oh, here we go! I'll bet you think the government ought to force a woman to eat her bagel as you interpret that God intended it to be eaten. Yes, I'd prefer that she eat it with cream cheese, but if she wants to put ketchup and Nutella on it, I'd be disgusted, but that IS her right. We say we live in a goddamn free country and that means tolerating things we might personally find repugnant. Her bagel. Her choice.
griffy14 9
Heathen! The bible plainly says bagel and Nutella not bagel and cheese. Bagel and cheese is an abomination.
jonha21 11
XD like its a career Job
Bano360 25
I hate people.
perdix 31
#29, yeah, especially ones that take jobs they have no passion for. It would like going to a bookstore staffed by illiterates.
boomer1986 8
people hate you too
Bano360 25
#35, some people don't get jobs they want. I work in retail, and will continue to do so until I finish my degree. I don't have a passion for retail, but a job is a job.
perdix 31
#51, hahahaha! Why do you think I'm on FML so much during the day? Truth be told, I do have passion for the field I am in, and if my current job lived up to expectations, I'd be into it. Sadly, bosses have a way of offering interesting jobs to lure you in, then dumping tedious crap on you once they've got you by the short and curlies. In my career, the liars hold a 5-3 advantage over the truth-tellers. I'm hoping to soon see if I can get the two sides closer to even.
olpally 33
Really?? Go smash a bagel with cream cheese in to his face... Be spontaneous instead of ambiguous. ;)