Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
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Top comments
zanyone 0
so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.
MyNameIsAudrey 0
I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.
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Comments (308)
Goochimus 0
and so you will always be known.
OasC82 0
Wanna be my friend
CaptainCat 0
Wowww, No you WERENT shitfaced after ONE beer. Your the kind of person who "thinks" theyre shitfaced. And just acts like that. NOBODY can get shitfaced off of one beer. Unless your like 6 years old Maybe this is just a accuse of why you were being a *****?
muffinkitty 15
*whistles* maybe u should leave the drinking to your friends next time op. Obviously, u +alchohol=not good at all!!
jaramia20 5
so , when would you like to go out for drinks ??? LOL
Emmisary123 1
hey do u want to grab a beer with me sometime?
mandygurl6 0
You know what's crazy? I can legally DRIVE on one beer. Not that I particularly care for beer, but if I drank it, there's NO way it would put me over .08. I really think you should look into what happened that night, because it sounds an awful lot like you were drugged. And that shit's not okay.
toyota4life94 6
at least u got to ur goal !!!!!!!!!!!
liveitup9096 0
wow really? i remember my first beer! :p
ajsciri4 0
after one beer I'm buzzed and I'm 90 lbs. I feel bad for you lol don't drink