Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML
Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML
Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, I woke up at 4 a.m., my back sore from being twisted like a pretzel due to my toddler. I successfully moved him, then my sick baby woke up, tried to nurse, screamed because he couldn’t breathe through his nose, screamed because I suctioned his nose, tried to nurse a blanket, then screamed when I offered him an actual boob. FML
Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
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Top comments
Sia_Will 13
That's crazy, my baby wasn't like that at all when she was a newborn. I would talk loudly and watch tv and do whatever around her while she slept. Never bothered her. Hopefully your baby grows out of that soon!
TabooSushi 24
Geebus. Get that baby into a soundproof bubble for sleep time! I kid, of course. That really sucks, I hope she grows out of the fussy stage soon so you can all get some rest!
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Comments (55)
fictionaldiary 11
Um... why would you think that was a good idea? Was there literally no other food in your house?
justsayingbeach 15
That's why you don't change habits for babies. The day they come home have the phone go the door go the dog bark and they get used to it instantly
izzajaneful 24
Commas would have helped the second sentence greatly.
ZiGgY576 20
Maybe it would be useful to get her a white noise machine so she can't hear all of the other sounds
qwertyuiopasdfgh_fml 16
Your baby has to get used to sounds or you'll just fk yourself over in the future.
Superbaker123 14
Get her used to falling asleep where there is already white noise so little things don't wake her up. I saw one baby fast asleep in a loud bowling alley, I bet the parents don't have to creep around like that.
Gorkiy 2
Seriously, think before you do something. Go eat some low noise food.
bbychii 20
to help my son get used to noises or block out noises in his room, use white noise like a vacuum or put a fan in his room faced away from him, while your baby sleeps try to keep steady noise around so that he wont be able to hear other noises
triggatray26 10
I put a fan in my youngins room from the day we brought him home from the hospital, he got use to a constant sound every night going to sleep so after about a week Once he was asleep he was out like a light.
sailorarctic 22
try getting a baby wrap and wearing her. my newborn was like this. it was so bad we had to side car her crib beside our bed to cosleep because she will not sleep in her own room which is fine. its a baby's natural instinct to want to be near its mother and honestly until they are about 4 months old they don't have a sense of self meaning they arent aware that they're a seperate person. they spent 10 months inside you and now all of a sudden they're in this big wide quiet world.
sighlifeman 12
the joys of Parenthood