Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML
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Top comments
Eladar 0
at #24.... you really don't have a ******* clue what you're on about do you? It's highly likely they were just as drunk as each other... So it wouldn't just be him that got done for it... He would have a perfectly valid and upstanding counter claim which would negate either claim. The way you're saying it is basically "if a guy sleeps with a drunk girl, he's a rapist. However, if a girl sleeps with a guy whos just as drunk, it's still the guys fault" and that's a load of old bollocks. And one more thing, try dropping the caps lock a bit =D Oh, and by the way, not being able to remember does NOT mean she didn't consent the night before. To the OP, thats just unlucky mate... Hopefully next time you pull, she won't piss everywhere
skybrink 0
Everyone that is either on her side or making fun of you is probably a chick who pisses her self all the time.
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Comments (27)
cleoxus85 0
Eeew, she can't handle the bottle?
BlueberrySwisher 9
I think karma knocked down the door it was a emergency.
dloyfbc 0
Welcome to college..
iBiteRoses 22
Why couldn't she just be sleeping?
TheWetzel 5
Now that's what I call dirty sex!
Kirlyfoo 9
The guys got the ******* done
Kirlyfoo 9
*cough* troll
tatesp0138 3
Dude why sleep w/ a random girl..seriously
cieloalicia 16
Exactly!! People are *****.
emuexport 4
Bonus golden shower, big win !!!
worldclassrager 41
Go to sleep drunk and that happens...