Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I went to Walmart to purchase a pregnancy test. I chose my checkout line carefully, to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. After choosing one, I realized it was 4 o'clock on the dot. Shift change. My mom's best friend took over the shift just as I reached the checkout. FML
Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes helping an elderly man figure out how to use the self-checkout. When we'd finished, he smiled, thanked me, then walked away… without paying for any of his groceries. The cashier assumed I was with him. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
Today, I went through a self-checkout at a grocery store. The machine kept repeating, “Please remove the unexpected item in the bagging area.” After five attempts, an employee came over and discovered the “unexpected item” was my own elbow resting on the counter. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML
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Top comments
Krittick 0
Hank: "'Vagiclean', huh? What's the matter, honey? Little extra cheese on the taco?" Mrs. Bittman: "Excuse me?" Hank: "No, excuse me. There's no tag on this. Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough. [SNIFF] Put a rush on that."
papillonrouge_fml 0
Wow. Now THIS is a true FML. You being careful, and the universe just being against you.
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Comments (114)
buunana 0
Hahahhahahahha Mean as hell, but even funnier
JimmyBob_fml 0
When I'm buying something embarrassing.... I always bring a little piece of paper with me so it looks like a list. I stare at the product and then the list.... and have an uncertain look on my face. People think I'm buying it for someone else. (it doesn't work when your buying a fake ****** thou)
plexico 4
Go home, put on a CD by the Yeastie Boys and make some bread.
plexico 4
You should have tried. . . ****-ON , Apply directly to the ****! ****-ON , Apply directly to the ****! ****-ON , Apply directly to the ****! ****-ON , Apply directly to the ****! ****-ON , Apply directly to the ****!
TwelveStarDay 0
you are embaressed about 5 people finding out in the store, but dont really mind telling the thousands of people who look at this site? pffft fyl some more
plasticspoons 0
LOL I feel really sorry for you. FYL
kirstiem 0
I used to work at a grocery store that had self check out. We used to intentionally make a deal out of people buying stuff like vagisil, just to embarrass them. SORRY!
monster_tamer 11
X_X Ouch! That sucks. Sounds like bad luck struck. Hope your day improved afterwards.
EmoKidsFail 0
that really sucks.. i would've just left and gone to another store right when it wouldn't work the first time. i commend you for sticking it out
LordNate 0
We