Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, and for the past three months, I've been stuck in a group project with three students who spend 90% of their time talking to each other. This project is mandatory to graduate, and a team effort is practically required in order to do well. I can already feel senioritis kicking in. FML
Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I had the Monday meeting that I have had every week for 8 months. We had new people joining today. One of my bosses went around the room introducing people, and he forgot my name. I've been sitting across from him with a nametag for 8 months. FML
Today, I was assigned to a group of four to brainstorm ideas for a project. One by one they listed their ideas, but when it was my turn they skipped me. They suddenly started a casual conversation with each other, oblivious of my existence, while I sat quietly between them for an hour. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, like most days, I spent my lunch break with a sandwich in one hand while typing with the other, trying to keep up with my work load, while my coworker took a nap. We're supposed to be doing the same job, but he refuses to learn most of the software. The boss is fine with this. FML
Today, the cafe lady misnamed me Michael. I corrected her and jokingly exclaimed that Michael must be really handsome if she mistook me for him. She simply responded, “No, not really.” FML
Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
DocBastard approves of Michael.
bmkc4 1
Maybe he is autistic
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Comments (175)
NinjaNick1990 0
OP is Michael O.o
GetTheFuckOut 7
Wow. You gonna' cry about it?
badgrl 0
be nice. sounds like they might have a form of autism. treat them like you would want to be treated.
1893enfield 2
So, sans the third-person malarkey, you're basically working with Sheldon Cooper?
Ratracer 6
Don't be such a dick. Work with him. It won't be the last time in your life you have to learn to work with a challenging person for your own success.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Demand to put on another team or to be aloud to work independently.
ohitsdaniella 7
Bonding time with michael! :D
MeowsLikaLion 4
don't be so judgmental. he's probably just shy. try being nice and friendly to him.
hellokeroppi 5
Are we supposed to know who Michael is?
SPIR4L 0
Um, are we sure the *OP* isn't Michael? Read it over again.
dogpup4 23
You just blew my mind.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
No, it said "Michael mumbles intelligently to HIMSELF". OP is a girl.