Today, I saw our boss, visiting from the USA, press the button on the coffee machine, probably thinking a cup will drop automatically. I grab a cup in the cupboard and put it under the now pouring coffee. Next thing I knew, I'm lying on the floor, my boss's bodyguard on top of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I was walking into work holding a coffee and a bunch of other things. My employee saw me and held the door. I was almost there when I dropped my coffee, tried to catch it, tripped over the curb and fell flat on my face. I heard the door close while still lying there. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, I slipped on the wet floor of a café, spilled coffee all over myself, and fell flat on my back. The barista ran over, not to help me, but to put up a bright yellow “Caution: Wet Floor” sign next to me while I was still laying there. FML
Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML
Today, I was at work copying some papers. The copier is below a shelf with lots of paper and signage, which suddenly flew off the hinge and hit me in the head as well as the copier. My boss ran in, asking, "Is the copier okay?" FML
Today, while serving a line of ten customers by myself at the coffee shop I work at, I knocked over a cup of steaming hot milk and it went all over the coffee bar, espresso machine, floor, and myself. I then had to act like everything was fine and make a line of drinks with milk everywhere. FML
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Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Where do you work that your boss has a bodyguard? Sounds interesting.
holly_fly 34
I'm from the US, and I don't know if I've ever seen a coffee machine that automatically drops the cup, unless it was at a rest stop on the interstate. However, that is odd that he started the machine without a cup under the spout. Sorry you got tackled OP! Hope you didn't get hurt...
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Comments (78)
godamnitmotagain 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that sucks
Miss_Whipped 43
This isn't called My Life's Fantastic, it's called **** My Life. Of course it sucks.
ZaiopePerSe 15
#32. most stories on here don't actually suck
Calarel_bones 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is **** MY LIFE.
jazmin27 9
If only there were a button you could press so you didn't have to comment this...
DeadpoolBeast13 11
I don't understand why everyone is so hateful he is just simply stating his opinion
ssenmodnaR 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP, can you explain now? where do you work at where your boys would even need a bodyguard?
ronbach 8
lots of CEOs have personal body guards, people who work for goverment or defense contractors. source: I do that. now would i tackle someone in the situation above... probably not.
Weasely 11
Why the hell did this get downvotes, but the top comment is basically the same thing? I guess with this sort of voting system people just go with the crowd.
asdfghjklmoo 15
It might be as a result of a spelling error in the comment - "your boys" instead of "your boss"
lukian_fml 29
#45 - If someone quickly thrust an object towards the gut of a subject (standing close to the coffee machine) whom you are protecting, you would do nothing?
OlRed 28
45 said probably wouldn't not that he wouldn't at all. Because a bodyguard's job is to be aware of everything that's going on around the subject. Which includes in this case realizing that the machine he's using doesn't automatically dispense cups or at the very least should be vigilant enough to notice that op was carrying a cup. The body Guard in this case wasn't so vigilant and therefore had to resort to tackling someone who didn't deserve it. Now if op had been standing really close to the subject and pulled the "cup"out of his pocket in a quick and suspicious way, then yeah he would have been tackled. Good body guards aren't just hunks of beef standing around, we got eyes and a Brain too.
stryder9090 28
hott
stryder9090 28
Apparently the coffee/sexual innuendo pun was bad.
Skelator_Jenkins 12
No it was pretty good some people just don't get things
stryder9090 28
Started off with a bunch of down votes. The tables turned rather quickly!
FrozenMusic 26
This sounded like an action movie lol But kudos to you for trying to help (:
RogueOne 10
You must watch some pretty boring action movies
Mynamewontfi 40
Where do you work that your boss has a bodyguard? Sounds interesting.
Dave_Davington 34
The bodyguard store. Definitely the bodyguard store.
jazzyp424 14
the mafia
holly_fly 34
I'm from the US, and I don't know if I've ever seen a coffee machine that automatically drops the cup, unless it was at a rest stop on the interstate. However, that is odd that he started the machine without a cup under the spout. Sorry you got tackled OP! Hope you didn't get hurt...
StateOfEuphoria 17
Its a possibility they had thought it was like a regular coffee pot, where it brewed inside of the pot itself.
misstwoshoes 13
There are actually a lot of coffee machines that do that... I've worked at FedEx where there was one coffee machine in the break room that drops the cup and then pours the coffee.
PuffPastry 8
I live in Canada and there are some cities that have fully automated coffee machines in their public spaces (like libraries for example). One brand is 2monks Coffee Company. They're designed to make quality coffee with the least hassle and mess, which includes internal cups. These are also used in office buildings.
snelliverse 11
I'm somewhat jealous. I work at a breakfast restaurant and we have to brew a new pot of decaf every time someone orders one. It's a pain. An automated coffee machine would be amazing. The only place I've seen one was in a hospital.
andrmac 25
I can brew half a pot without the pot in and pull the pot out while it's going and it will stop. Love my cheapo Mr Coffee but my Kurige is faster and more convenient for single cup.
sirrubberduckie 37
We had a big coffee vending machine in our office that ground the beans and then poured the coffee into a cup that it dropped automatically. It was free unless you wanted specialty coffee or hot chocolate.
mlustpdx 17
it's called a vending machine coffee machine
Jaelkus 28
factory I worked at had those ten cents small cup of joe 25 cents a large 5 cents for cream and sugar.
evilplatypus 39
Last time I saw a coffee machine that dropped the cup was in Dubai. I'd have a hot chocolate before class each day and I loved watching the whole process.
HereNReady 13
There's one at the precinct I work at that drops a cup, and they are common on the ferry system in Seattle. I'll agree they are rare but if it's a huge boxy machine I'd probably assume too...
tamesenicole 27
Hospitals have them
wasliedtoasakid 22
I live in central California and at my high school, they have a coffee/hot chocolate vending machine and it automatically drops the cup.
fookmyleaf 13
there's a coffee machine like that in Terminator 2
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lol you should have just watched and laughed.That does suck to be pinned by a bodygaurd while trying to help.
stretch101 14
OP would probably get written up/fired for laughing at the head boss like that
YourOpinionSucks 22
Sounds like a better alternative to being tackled by a dipshit body guard.
slavka012 11
Do you work for an illegan weapon dealer? I mean who else goes around with a bodyguard?
Miss_Whipped 43
Illegan sounds like an illegal vegan. Which might might make for an interesting movie.
Lalala579121 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Being vegan just makes you better than most people.
nosycooldude6000 3
Scott Pilgrim reference?
ronbach 8
lots of CEOs, goverment employees, defense contractors. i do that.
Lalala579121 28
40 - Yep.
Tripartita 45
Lifehack #301.71b: If you don't want an extra dish or wasted paper mug, you let the coffee pour directly into the drainage receptacle and lift the coffeemaker up to drink from there.
Snip_Snap 14
'Tis the American way.