Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML
Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: Golden Retrievers running through a field, then eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commercial. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML
Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing, and after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML
Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML
Today, we live in a tiny trailer. My doctor said I have celiac disease. My dad, who takes things too literally, came back with gluten-free dog food. I don’t even have a dog. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
Well, if you ever get desperately hungry ...
Wheredidgrungego 12
Just because it's for dogs doesn't mean it's inevitable.... Look at Shaggy and Scooby Snacks!
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Comments (105)
Winning_Duh 0
well nothing is stoping you...... go for it.
fymother 13
...except for your spelling...
Winning_Duh 0
sorry didn't know FML came with sarcastic spell check...
iSitt 0
fyl for having all three allergies. F Dog's L for having them too.
loveexgirl 15
13, next time you go to the store, look at the ingredients of the things you buy. most of them have wheat and soy and corn.
iSlappedCupid 0
C'mon be reasonable, this is FML, not everyone uses proper grammar
BariumDeep 0
I wouldn't sell you life insurance.
kombucha_fml 8
I heard it doesn't taste so bad after all.
cupcakeslayer 0
someones gotta taste test it! how else can they label it "chicken and rice flavor"
FckYoCOUCH 6
Well, then, look forward to pictures of yourself where you don't look like a fcking poser duck faced ho. : )
shutupYDI 4
21- maybe it isn't an English assessment but writing in proper grammar isn't the ******* SAT's. If you think before you speak you will realize how easy it is. It's not hard to realize that "That's seems.." is already a fail comment.
TripOnShoelaces 0
Hm. Why type, and write, in the English language if you aren't going to do it properly? It's "not that hard" to click on a few extra buttons.
blackvyper 8
Well there's always cat food...