Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
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Comments (311)
ChemosBurning 0
At least the byf didn't care right? I mean....? Yea..,,
Migole 36
Couldn't agree more with most of the comments here. Why, just why?? I wouldn't want my little brother to ask "what's that woman over there doing?". I hope you got kicked out and fined!!
halliemarie1818 5
Don't be such a **** next time?
CasCake96 3
Lol. Tuggie while the parents are there, real lady like. XD
decidedlyvague 11
I want a gf like that... Also... I wouldn't have stood up. Lol
xRezSynn 15
Why would u do that in a resturant
DontTreadOnMeK 6
Today, I was eating my delicious Chicken Alfredo pasta, when I saw a woman that looks like Snooki help her boyfriend make some more "Alfredo sauce." FML
Mintchip320 0
Why were you giving him a handjob in a restaurant?!?
mkcherry 14
Im surprised people are being such judgmental prudes, i highly doubt she was going to expose him and start and hand/******** in the middle of the restaurant. She was playing with him subtly enough he didn't notice his zipper come down (hence why he stood up) and I'm sure the place has tablecloths. Have none of you ever put your hand on your ladies thigh or slightly up your girlfriends dress at dinner? I never knew people were still so goddamn uptight. Not all restaurants have kids (we actually purposely seek bars/restaurants that don't) and Im sure the entire point of public foreplay is making sure you're subtle and no ones watching. When he stood up his parents, if they even noticed, probably just thought he left his zipper down on accident, not the end of the world OP.
MidnightMusic53 37
If you could freaking read, you would understand why. She said she was about to put her hand IN his boxers. In other words, she was planning on stroking him right there in the restaurant. She wasn't just unzipping his fly, if that was the case, I doubt she would have went and posted an FML.
littlexlune 16
Christ, keep it in your pants, you ****** nympho.