Today, my fiancé and I were discussing whether we should have a gun in the house or not. He argued that I’m too clumsy to have one. Offended, I turned around to storm off. I hit my forehead on the cabinet I'd left open and immediately started gushing blood. Point proved. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Offended, huh? I'd say you were... ...wait on it... ...triggered.
Chazzster 32
As a gun owner, I am afraid I have to side with the fiancé. If OP is this careless and clumsy then adding a gun to the mix is just risking disaster. Get a dog instead.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Offended, huh? I'd say you were... ...wait on it... ...triggered.
Kraths 16
Being clumsy doesn’t have to do a whole lot with rather or not a gun can be in the house as long as you know basic gun safety. I have friends who routinely trip over air, but all have safely handled firearms.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'm gonna call you Shaun because you've got red on you.
CA91 9
🤣
Chazzster 32
As a gun owner, I am afraid I have to side with the fiancé. If OP is this careless and clumsy then adding a gun to the mix is just risking disaster. Get a dog instead.
Charlie Given 28
The three main things in life that cause clumsiness are bad spatial awareness, low to poor muscle tone and multiple different neurological disorders most of which are curable, as a child I was horribly clumsy so I took martial arts and it took care of the spatial awareness and low muscle tone issues I had. Your problems can be worked on and too the issue of having a gun first learn to shoot a pellet gun once you're comfortable with that move up to a 22 when you're comfortable with that use a bigger one it's all about practice when it comes to anything.
siggy_mcsigx 22
I disagree, as someone who is a national champion in a sport and an olympic-certified coach. I have trouble with stairs and doorways and other daily bullshyt sometimes and it's just because of a low level sensory perception of the physical world around me when I am in my own head. It doesn't mean I have general physical incompetence.
icalledhisname 12
Nope, ADHD also causes clumsiness and there’s no cure for that. CBT can help but not cure. If someone with ADHD is doing something, and something suddenly distracts them while they aren’t hyper-focused, mistakes will be made.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Well don't have a gun in the house until you've trained and learned how to handle guns.
Mathalamus 25
He has a point.