Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee, but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I got home after a night of drinking with my coworker. We hooked up, but he was so drunk he had to use a flashlight to put it in. Then, he ran out of the room to throw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
dacho 7
You sure it was piss? Maybe you were working the zipper for too long :]
Nakedsquirrel 5
Apparently you also pulled his underwear down with your teeth.
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Comments (166)
medic343 0
why was your face in his crotch?
YouGotTold 0
ydi y 1. was his pants that tight where he couldnt just pull them down 2. why was ur face so close 3. wtf, was he commando 4. i think this is fake and if so ur fail
smiller0789 3
Who wears jeans that aren't too tight to pull down? That's how pants are supposed to fit unless you're some dumbass thug who thinks it's cool to walk around with their pants around their ankles.
DemonChicken 0
pants on the ground, pants on the ground.Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.!!!!! lol
elowyn4life 0
that was the best song/dance ever.
lickmyjock 0
She probably secretly wanted it.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lol!! punch him in the dick! I had to help my boyfriend per once when he was drunk he peed in my hand lmao it was gross. and weird holding that shit when a guy is peeing lmao!!! good times.
maskedman 9
how long did you hold it?
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lol as long as he peed for like 20 seconds haha
eur003 0
help me "pee" ?? ;)
purplemnm 9
ew what does it feel like?
Luckster 0
*insert regular 'know your ******* limit' rant here, except directed at OP friend this time*
lickmyjock 0
eeeeek um... ok, temper much?
MermaidSongXOXO 6
He was only pretending to be drunk. This was his way of telling you he wants to make a dirty, gay porno with you. ...God, I'm really ****** up.
crzyry 6
Gay ****? OP is a woman.
daniisme 0
you sound too smart to be on FML snicker. I think you do u have anger issues xD
MermaidSongXOXO 6
*tattoos "FAIL" on forehead* OP's a woman.... :P Ok, his way of telling OP he wanted to make a dirty heterosexual ****.
jimmyla 0
why did you go into male restroom with a random guyo.o
purplemnm 9
Jimmy the ornamental penis stated the guy was her friend.
maskedman 9
Golden showers sound expensive but this guy is just giving them away.
ringmybell_fml 0
^this
AlcaSMT 0
OP should repay him for his generosity :p
AbOvE_88 0
...wait? he was drunk? well he was sober enough to ask you, yet pissed in your face WTF!?
velvetreverie 0
Why did you go so low just to unzip his pants? Or are you a little person?