Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I was waving at my neighbor, who was also waving enthusiastically back. After smiling and gesturing, I realized she was actually cleaning her windows. I was flirting with Windex. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML
Today, in a crowded hallway, I saw the guy I fancy standing in front of me, with his arms open wide. Thinking he wanted to hug me, I wrapped my arms around him and stepped back. He looked at me like I was nuts. I then realised he was trying to hug the girl next to me. FML
Today, I went to open my bedroom curtains while still in my pajamas, which, in my defense, were just a very oversized T-shirt. I didn’t realize the window cleaners were outside until I heard one of them say, “Morning!” We made prolonged eye contact before I slowly closed the curtains like I was lowering the lid on my own coffin. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me… so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML
Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML
Today, my boss held his polo shirt one inch from my nose and asked me to smell it. He said that he was going into one of our tenants' apartment and wanted to smell him before and after so I could judge said apartment's cleanliness. FML
Today, I went to a guy's dorm for the first time. He told me to wait outside for a minute because he had to "clean something up" first. When I told him I'm 420 friendly, he said, "Nah I just came on my desk earlier and didn't feel like wiping it up." FML
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Top comments
k34nu 7
WTH? Why would someone want to be sprayed with windex...?
Reid5 6
Why would you hug a complete stranger?
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Comments (109)
naduskalove 3
Spray him with WHATTT??? God damn it, this is crazy !
cetlawizard 15
Today, I walked into a room while someone was cleaning with windex. I decided to pretend to be a window that needed cleaning, but instead they hugged me & now I feel weird. Fml.....lol. JK! :)
chasity_27 2
This is weird...
linkinpark98 24
We know you are. :)
spottyblanket 8
I actullay think what you did was hilarious, almost on purpose. :p
akdakine81 2
So if he had just walked in and pulled his dork out would you have sucked it?
touchesthelight 8
Depends upon if he was attractive and his dick was clean, then yeah, slurp away :P
joesterjoe 7
i would have done the same thing lol :P
Zangetsu67 5
Dafuq?
Six_and_the_Moon 3
Not a YDI. Imagine if he had just wanted a hug, and instead you sprayed him in the face with Windex? You definitely went the safer road.
sleet7 4
Why would you hug a random person. And why would someone want to be sprayed with windex. Sounds like a weird neighborhood.
sleet7 4
I would have asked if he was okay.