Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
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Top comments
XxLorniklexX 0
This is why parents shouldn't text.
kk_fml 0
that is hilarious
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Comments (59)
Vaati_fml 20
"Shut up dad, you're drunk."
Druu 53
I would've had a wittier comment had you called West Virginia your home state.
bagofpopkern 18
I must be the only person who doesn't think the dads some pedophile
apineapple 40
It might be wierd but he could have sent something worse.
ad1836 19
Lolol these are always hilarious
jairolover 25
LMFAO