Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, the smoke alarm went off while I was in the shower. Fearing a house fire, I jumped out and ran out, wearing just a tiny towel that barely covered my modesty, only to realize that water was coming through the ceiling and on to the smoke alarm, via a leak in the shower tray. FML
Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML
Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
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Top comments
gigglingalways 6
I guess things got a little too hot and heavy
laden_swallow09 35
Doesn't matter, had sex?
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Comments (152)
namhowell 6
It's still mind-blowing!
lolfood 24
Sex on fire!
micahsmommy 13
Instead of hot and steamy it was hot and smokey.
ayyemmcee 1
Ahhh kitchen fires are always a cockblock.
demonkonga 5
Lol that would be one of the greatest way to cockblock some one
KillSwitch96 18
What? Set their kitchen on fire? That would be the worst way to **** block someone... You would, if caught, be arrested for arson, vandalism, and countless other things...
alyspar2 5
Doesn't matter ha sex?:)
laden_swallow09 35
Beatcha to it
alyspar2 5
Yeahhh By the time i noticed it I couldn't delete it. Sorryy.(: haha
omzz05 2
Hhah **** blocked by fire good one.. Not gnna lie sex in the shower is ****** amazing... Till the water bill comes along.. Which it will lol
dsypher 0
I guess her kitchen skills weren't up to par
Nothingson1864 0
F*ck you
DocBastard 40
Your girlfriend's screaming should have easily been enough to drown out the alarm. If you could actually hear the smoke alarm over the sounds of the shower AND the sex, then it wasn't as mind-blowing as you thought, Casanova.
aileen15 15
OP got owned by docbastard lmao but I do agree with docbastard wasnt as mindblowing cus u can hear the smoke alarm -.-
RaggleFrock 13
What?! Smoke alarms are loud as hell. I had a house fire once and I was asleep and im a deep sleeper that thing woke me up and saved my life.
mikeymayhem_87 15
That depends on the fire alarm. I have heard a few alarms that could overpower a large-scale concert! But I will assume Doc is right, as usual.
CRC_101 31
Sorry Doc, but why not let the couple enjoy their sex? A girl doesn't have to be screaming for it to be superb. If she's a quiet one, she's a quiet one, and anything a guy does to try to make her scream would probably make the sex horrible. Granted, if OP's claiming this sex was better than anyone else's in the world ever, he's obviously wrong. He doesn't sound that arrogant, however. I would presume he means "ever" in reference to what he personally experiences. On a side note, it's lucky they were quiet enough to hear the alarm, or they would have lost much more of the kitchen. Additionally, OP never claimed that the alarm sound was the only indicator that there was a large fire in the house; there are many other symptoms of a fire that might have warned them also. Excellent burn though, as usual ^_^ My personal input is that it's unwarranted.
DocBastard 40
CRC - You overanalysed my comment WAY too much. It was just a simple joke. Thanks for ruining it.
CRC_101 31
Aw, it's impossible to ruin it, especially being you. If I thought I could actually ruin it, I most certainly wouldn't write it. u.u
Chad_the_Brony 0
iWouldn't want to be in your shoes.
immaMonsta 8
I thought it was funny.