Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WinkleBottom 13
Deserved it, you did.
cmayer 20
You might need to look into anger management if you throw things bc you had a bad day..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
Olympiakos10 15
Problem is that when you wake up all you remember is how to breath, move and piss. You never remember what you wanted to do.
last_kings84 19
Dumbass!
PhilSnake22 13
It may be a good idea for you to invest in a punching bag...
c4rpi0 20
Next time throw a plastic glass it won't hurt as much if you forget about it and step on it or vent your anger another way OP
brainymes 30
I think karma came back and bit you in the ass for letting your anger get the best of you. Sorry, but I think you deserved this one OP.
c4rpi0 20
*foot
joopjoop 19
how about stop throwing shit like a little kid and karma won't bite you in the foot for it. ydi.
jayceejaco 15
Next time clean up OP
FrankHotpants 31
Invest in a punching bag, it's a good alternative for channeling you're anger in a more positive way.
olpally 33
Way to go, dumb ass. Nice bloody feet ya got there, I presume. Haha.
HeartOfLead 24
If Wilfred The Butler isn't going to clean it up, someone has to. And besides, cleaning can sometimes be a good way to calm you down.