Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I was taking a bath after a long day at work. I closed my eyes and listened to music. My cat thought this was the perfect time to come out of his hiding spot and jump in the bath. Once he realized it was filled with water, he freaked out and dug his claws into my face. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
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Top comments
machiko_fml 0
Haha. I think he wanted to take a bath too.
skyeyez9 25
Its a perv spider, watching you bathe. It was gonna use it's spider legs to give you a scalp massage and lather the shampoo in your hair.
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Comments (195)
KILLME321 0
Wow even tho I love spiders I would've screamed bloody murder! Lol
MeatSucks777 0
lol I love tarantulas :D that would make the bath even better :P sorta.....
CountryCarlson 0
Hey atleast he didnt jump in with ya, you wouldve lost him in all the bubbles.... You wouldve been skinny dippin with a spider
SD86 0
Hahahaha so funny!
TheDarkCynder 2
I'd take a tarantula. I have a ball python.
RokNRoll11 9
kick your bro in the nuts for me and kill the spider i hate the 8 eyed freaks
izok777 2
Squish the mother f*cker
Honda288 2
Uhh, my ass would have hit the roof. I would have joined the crew of the NASA space station.
mzgabbster 28
xD I'm re-reading your comments. Oh my, they still make me laugh!
RabidSephardi 0
That made me pooh just a little. *cringes*