Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
Why would you call animal control? We country folk would take a shovel, scoop it up and toss it's ass in the woods. Or, you could have a lot of fun and wait until dinner time and put the animal in a tarp, along with some random objects, (just to make it appear to be larger) tie it up and drag it out into your lawn. Make sure you make a lot of noise. Then start digging a grave while screaming "WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS". Your neighbors will be delighted.
Dillon000 3
lol dumbass xD
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Comments (77)
nickrollin 0
Oh wow!!!
worldclassrager 41
Pick it up with something to confirm what it is..
thefmlman2011 37
should of gone to specsavers
Amy91_fml 0
X
soovyl 18
Why would you call animal control if it was dead?
sharond23 10
What the hell. why would yoi call animal control for a dead animal? man up and take care of shit yourself.
randybryant799 21
Even if it had been a dead animal why would you call animal control? Get a garbage bag and put it in it.