Today, I'm waiting for some live fish to be delivered for my tank. They were guaranteed by 1 p.m., so I took the morning off work. I've been unable to concentrate and have bee jumping every time a car door slams, so anxious to get them. It's now 4 p.m. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Today, I was expecting new computer parts so I can upgrade my hardware. I was hoping they would get here before I had to leave for work, but they showed up half an hour after my shift started. Now I have $700 worth of computer hardware sitting on my porch for my whole shift. FML
Today, I'm still waiting for my ex, who yesterday afternoon told me that he'd be here within the hour. FML
Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, after my boss asked me to work late on a Friday and I'd agreed, thinking it would show him my dedication to the corporation, I got to the office. I realized after a while that I was the only one there, and the building's security system had locked me in. I spent my Friday night talking to our office goldfish in an empty row of cubicles. FML
Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML
Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
The delivery people were floundering around trying to find you. You should carp about how crappie they're treating you. Knock them from their perch for a refund or just for the halibut.
RichardPencil 32
So she wouldn't whale a sad tuna thinking no one is herring her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
The delivery people were floundering around trying to find you. You should carp about how crappie they're treating you. Knock them from their perch for a refund or just for the halibut.
ahabsfan 17
What was the porpoise of all that?
RichardPencil 32
So she wouldn't whale a sad tuna thinking no one is herring her.
samomaha 17
Ohhhh G-R-O-A-N! lol
Marcella1016 32
I’ve never played that weird pun game in the comments. Seems a little fishy to me.
Bogrbon 27
Bee jumping? I thought bee's flew, not hopped. =P