Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML
Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML
Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
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Top comments
fakedsincerity 32
Nothing more dangerous than a woman scorned!
ganjalovin27 4
wow shes crazy. make the bitch dig for them
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Comments (220)
smc3106 25
You might want to make sure that she actually threw them... Just saying, women will do things like that.. Lol
forlifebro 15
Lol that would suck so much if OP turns around and looks at his house only to see his wife dangling the keys at him
SlapAndTickle 20
Like fake throwing a ball to a dog. Damn, how'd you find out #12??
smc3106 25
I, mistakenly, married once before.. Lol
alycion 39
I've been known to hide an item for a day or two if my husband insists on leaving it out and making a mess. I usually hide it in the place it should have been anyway. Amazing how that throws him off.
hasankamran731 4
Buy her flowers and she will probably feel so bad she will look for the keys with you
Merylwen 24
Yes, especially because I picture the topic of the argument to be "You care about your goddamn car more than you care about me."
alphatoomega 21
That actually makes perfect sense as a topic of argument here.
AngrySailor 17
Or she found out how much it cost!
RonnieG 10
the car itself was only a thousand. I've put an additional 13 grand in it restoring it. New paint, brakes, headliner, interior, had the engine and original push button transmission rebuilt.
IloveToLaugh143 21
"Hi I'm Noah, and I'm going to show you how to get a girlfriend. Buy the girl flowers. Bitches love flowers."
KittyBiersack 1
Then get off your cellular device, and get your hiney to work!
beautifulsoul89 11
Being a woman i can say we do do some pretty evil shit to the men we say we love. She hurt you where it counts and im sure she regrets it, bc she has a heart. Make things right wit her and tell her to help you find them!!! Good luck my friend!!!
rememberkids 14
then how about not doing evil shit? sucks the guy's married, I would've left her. yes, over a '59 Belvedere, cause as long as u care for it, it will love u back, unlike 99.5% of women (romantically anyways)
klovemachine 24
Time for a divorce, because he deserves better :-D
sammyjanette 17
And this ladies and gents is why the divorce rate is 50%. Why do people bother getting married anymore if they're not even going to attempt to honor their vows?
mvc3ftw 17
...sarcasm?
klovemachine 24
Yes 124 it was sarcasm
PapaMoti 21
FYL x100
Amanda7849 8
I'm not sure he'll want to crowbar it after going through the trouble of restoring the car...
angelitared 27
Don't mess with a crazy bitch!!
SuperSofie 23
A bit too much tinkering with the car and not enough with her, perhaps? Anyway, I hope she saw the error of her ways, that helped you search for them and that you've found them. Good luck (with both the wife and the car)!
SuperSofie 23
* missing a 'she' in the one sentence, my bad (before a grammar nazi comes after me)
toxxickittyy 19
Uh I sure hope she grew up and started acting her age and is now helping you look.