Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML
Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML
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Top comments
andrewms 0
you know you liked it
picturetaker 0
hahahaha FYL. I always double check who I'm sending my dirty texts too. that would have been a bit awkward.
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Comments (73)
andrewms 0
you know you liked it
Austinsnyder601 1
YDI for having your mom on your cell phone Also just do "Nah I'ma just stick it in"
holeinchest 0
I LIKE POTATOES!!!
ifmlftw 0
u should have said "that sounds good. time and place." lmao
chocolatewhite 0
cool story bro
picturetaker 0
hahahaha FYL. I always double check who I'm sending my dirty texts too. that would have been a bit awkward.
PainInTheAsss 16
A bit?
XtommyschickX 0
haha wow imagine how embaressed she'll be
DynamicDave 11
MILF!
perdix 31
Tell her you're going to do the same stuff to Dad.
unomo 0
lol!!!
goldenone 2
ha. I love you perdix
Sindy_fml 4
LOL awkwardness!!! fyl ><
teriwhale 4
: ( that's so awkward
perdix 31
She's going to know what you are doing just under her boyfriend. Contact list, my ass!
carolina776 1
oh. yum.
Wlollpop 0
fail