Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch when my cat decided to join. Instead of jumping, he opted to climb. While he was climbing, he put his paw on my junk and got his claws stuck there. He then tried to force them out, which hurt even more. It took almost a full minute to break him free. FML
Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML
Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iSlowPwnz 0
Amazing cat! Is this a FML? I'm not sure
scorpiogirl666 0
If you can't deal with kittens being the spawn of the devil you shouldn't have gotten one. Seriously, I love cats, but my kitten wakes me up at 6 in the morning by attacking my face. Still, though, FYL. But I bet the kitty was cute, so it's okay.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
TheLoneWolf87 4
I hate cats i threw a potato chip in the to air catch it in my mouth and it lept over me and ate it. FML. It probly would be a good lolcat too
tonyspag 0
Cat climbs up a tree then I say **** it. The piece of shit will come down when it's ready, or hungry...
shanedawsonfan 0
Stupid cat LOL but I wouldn't have climbed after it I would have throw somthing at it. They have nine lives so it wouldn't matter.
misty_donna 0
LOL at #119 my cat ate a piece of vegemite on toast i left on a plate :P and sorry about your cat, OP
allymate 0
This is the funniest FML I've ever read, ha ha.
gorguz14evar 0
My kitten walks into chairs and thinks hes a bird. He copies the bird noises and tries to fly by jumping out of a tree. Haha that is a massive fail.
Aganippe 2
Haha, you can write the feline version of Marley and Me.
thatbloke 0
You only just realised that cats are evil? YDI for owning a cat
ayashe 2
Don't let your cat outside. The only people here that are evil are those posting about how much they hate cats.
Gina_1379 0
YDI for not starting another way... You should hav started with the treat bag, rattle it and the cat would hav jumped rite down... then you wouldnt hav gotten hurt.