Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have to replace my $120 calculator. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML
Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML
Today, I started at a new college. I bought my textbooks and went to my first class only to find out that they changed my schedule without telling me. I'd already opened the book. I could not get $200 back. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML
Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML
Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML
Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML
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Top comments
Barriaultcory 16
Worst protest ever
Dracoboxer357 36
Right. Because one form of stealing justifies another petty one. :p At least the university Told you their prices before you went, and you Still made the choice to go. No matter how I look at this, it's still your fault, sorry. ;p
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Comments (120)
queerdragon 20
This is one of those times I just shake my head. Way to show them.
TheJapaneseSushi 18
I've never seen an FML name suit someone so well
buckdharma 38
Why not use your ingenious mind for good, like milk resistant calculators or non explosive beans.
hunteryager 18
"An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind."
notsofriendly 17
Right, because the university dining hall is really rolling in it. Your failure of a protest wasn't even ripping off the right people.
xxsakuraxx 29
Seriously? Thats not protesting its stealing. What the hell did you possibly think that would accomplish? You sound more stupid than my stoner dad who has dementia.
Kitsi 14
Two wrongs don't make a right,sweetie. That is probably one of the most passive aggressive ways of protest I have heard of in my life.
percabethOTP 6
Soymilk? Why not fat-free?
Bibliovore 26
Maybe OP is lactose intolerant or vegan or something. Whatever the reason, the theft and choice of transport for the stolen goods were both dumb moves on OP's part.
Slimma 20
Since when does protesting involve stealing? Stealing involves stealing. Dumb move OP. Wasting all of that soy milk in the process.
mattman1 7
you showed them! good work.