Today, I was running down the street after my dog, arms waving and clapping, when my friend said to some curious passers-by, “Oh, never mind that, she’s deaf and has dementia.” From their looks, I don’t think they realized he meant the dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked if my friend wanted to come meet my dog and give him a treat. We were walking to my back yard, her holding 3 hot dogs, when she said, "I think your dog is dead!" I said, "No, he's just old and sleeps all the time and won't wake up until you pet him because he's deaf." He was dead. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
Today, I went to console my cousin because I'd heard that her dog had passed away. As I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her extremely old and feeble (but still very much alive) dog. Turns out my friend was talking about HIS cousin, and I simply misheard. Trying to explain that to her was mighty awkward. FML
Today, our dog is old and deaf, and has figured out she just needs to bark if she needs to be let inside. Unfortunately, she's also a bit senile, so sometimes she just barks for no reason, while lying still and quite comfortably on her dog bed, staring at nothing. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when we passed by a group of teenagers. My social anxiety urged me to appear like a cool, confident adult, so I threw a stick for my dog to fetch, expecting him to dash off as usual. Instead, he sat down and stared at me like I was crazy. One of the kids said, “He’s got more sense than you.” My dog barked in agreement. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML
Today, I went for my first morning run in years. I made it half a block before tripping over nothing and face-planting in front of a dog walker. The dog looked genuinely concerned. The walker didn’t. She just snorted and carried on walking the dog. FML
Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying, "Stay!" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying, "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said, "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You can easily demonstrate that you're hearing is fine. That second part, though,...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
You can easily demonstrate that you're hearing is fine. That second part, though,...