Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Today, it's so windy, I actually fell over and nearly flew into the street the moment I walked outside. FML
Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML
Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to catch up with her that I ran across the street without looking and almost got hit by a car. I ended up stumbling out of panic and landed on a pile of trash on the sidewalk. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
*throws a quarter*
perdix 31
You need to put a hat or a guitar case out to collect tips. You can't expect the general public to stuff bills in your G-string on the street. Next time you walk out on the street with boxes on a blowy day, strip down to a bikini and you'll earn your rent in about 20 minutes ;)
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Comments (66)
Welshite 40
*throws a quarter*
LemonandLime 13
What would the British OP do with that?
Pleonasm 36
*throws a quarteT.* To add a lot of suspense to this whole performance in a crescendo. Plus it's universal unlike quarters! Fixed.
TrueTriage 16
I might need some help to throw this red phone booth. Untill then fish and chips will suffice
Sir_ND_Pity 35
18 - You should ask 12 for his secret. I'm impressed that an entire quartet was able to be thrown! I'm barely strong enough to throw a tantrum :3
TrueTriage 16
There isn't much of a secret.... He's Pleo. Oddly enough this excuse works for many commenters
Han1156 23
Throws a tardis (probably spelled that wrong.)
AdamsNumberOne 16
Pleonasm, I see u on every fml post o_O
Pleonasm 36
it's funny because there's like a while page of FML posts before this one where I haven't commented!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Erm we drink waaaay more regular tea than Earl Grey tea! Oh, and custard creams will do fine, thanks.
gracehi 33
*Throws Marmite* :)
gracehi 33
*Also throws Monster Munch and Cadburry Creme Eggs.* You should feel honored, OP. Those are sine if favorite British foods, and I'm greedy.
gracehi 33
*some
lonewolf621 17
Its the Boston tea party all over again
Doodleoodlebug 18
Earl Grey? All about Yorkshire Tea or Tetley in England!!
ShyAnn29 15
*throws donuts*
Goldenchest 14
*throws jammy dodger*
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I SAID CUSTARD CREAMS!!! (please)
LemonandLime 13
Monster munch and Cadbury cream eggs? You are aware the companies that invented and made them aren't British? And how random that you think of those.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I guess you were entertaining enough to attract attention, but good enough to provide a decent show to get people to pay you. Step up your game, OP, or you'll never make it in the business!
Docbee 11
They were mesmerised(sp?) by your movements. Keep on swaying!
whatthefreshhell 15
It's actually mesmerized, but you tried
Pleonasm 36
s/z are both correct depending on where you come from.
whatthefreshhell 15
I should've assumed that. Well, I've learned something today, so thanks!
Smoxxii 17
It's 'Mesmerized' :)
Pleonasm 36
That sounds like the weirdest performance/audience I've heard of in a while. I mean, if you like seeing a guy spin around with boxes, more power to you, guys...
Docbee 11
It was the hips and OP's look of despair that drew the sharks in
Pleonasm 36
Yea you've really got to sell it, OP. If you want that money you're gonna have to scream and pretend to drop things ad stuff, and don't be afraid to feign perilous situations and bodily harm. Break a leg!
narkill 13
Atleast they got a good show out of it eh?
jojimugo 20
It wasn't good enough for them to part with some change
Vanillanougat 14
They were probably just so mesmerized by your performance that they couldn't take their eyes away to look for spare change.
perdix 31
You need to put a hat or a guitar case out to collect tips. You can't expect the general public to stuff bills in your G-string on the street. Next time you walk out on the street with boxes on a blowy day, strip down to a bikini and you'll earn your rent in about 20 minutes ;)
JFreezy_15 7
Sounds like you have some serious experience, #9
StarThrower 17
I guess your performance...fell flat. (I just couldn't help myself)
perdix 31
#11, I'll lend you my sunglasses.
HarrisonVR 17
at you brought entertainment to a group for a small period of time. appeal to IKEA for some money as you surely inadvertently advertised their products for them.
HarrisonVR 17
*at least
Enslaved 38
That's when you start breakdancing! Spinning in the wind doesn't earn my $1 but spinning on your back does! (: