Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML
Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML
Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Vincere_fml 0
That guy's pathetic... unbelievable
gabby1995pena 4
She probably got pregnant.
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Comments (121)
Silenthunter 0
Well now you do.
naiisrandom 7
he'll be great for a quickie
dustyrose04 6
your username. you're *
ahti546 11
That guy deserves a high-five
nollid7 5
Meeting at a bar for drinks, $30, buying a 3 pack of 12 condoms, $8, figuring he didn't use one and getting your dumbA** pregnant, PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!
ckilla421 0
YDI for being a bar ****.
anniemall 6
Ha I completely agree... 90% of the people calling her a ***** can't pick up at the bar and say they don't believe in casual sex or saving it for that 'special someone' as an excuse
SystemofaBlink41 27
9- your username is so ironic...
polishperson5253 5
#54 has no spelling fails... Awkward...
polishperson5253 5
Sh*t, that was supposed to go to the post below this.