Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
darkmis1 18
woooooow! he's in a bit of a hurry...
MiniatureMayhem 0
Somebody's hungry!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
RIKANA 0
some how I don't believe #18... RI
starryskyhearts 0
Oh wow. Grab his and say the same thing, and when he mentions that he can't produce milk because he's a guy, be like "Oh crap, I'm a lesbian!"
xxBAMFxx 0
Ummm... I only think a girl can lactate under three conditions 1. She has to pregnant. 2. A lactation drug. 3. Or has over producing mammary glands. But seriously your boyfriend saying that is freaking weird. Was he like, "show me them tittays!!!"
Einstein714 0
how's this a fml? it would've been an fml if you WERE prego
fanstasia 5
LOL! I can't seem to stop laughing at this one.
FoundManyLemons 0
DTMFA, or... run bitch run!
oconnd 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=21681
amatayo 0
weird yeah but look at the light side. in a weird way he is saying he can see you two together in the future.
thajuggalo420 0
good point
moopsy234 0
y don't u beleive me rikana??? I wudnt lie bout that gosh my dads side of the family is big boobd (not the men of corse) gosh *sigh*
Alex_7759 13
Boobd
babyjay424 0
eww but funny